


Just don't go without me

by Jupe



Series: Sylvix Week 2020 [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sylvix Week 2020 (Fire Emblem), war period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupe/pseuds/Jupe
Summary: Sylvain almost dies and realizes that maybe he cares more about his own life than he thought
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Sylvix Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933255
Kudos: 25





	Just don't go without me

**Author's Note:**

> It is 3:30am, I'm tired and did not proof read this, but it should be alright.

Sylvain throws himself in front of Felix to save him from the axe swinging his way, and his vision goes black. He feels his body fall off the horse and hit the ground, a sharp pain in his head, and a panicked scream. Then he fades out of consciousness.

When he wakes up again, he can’t move. But maybe it’s better that way, because even without moving he can feel the pain — In his head, in his chest, and in his right arm — so he just stays as still as possible.

He doesn’t want to open his eyes yet. He’s still so drowsy and it feels like his brain is throbbing. He might even be dead and this is the afterlife. If that were to be the case, Sylvain certainly isn’t keen on finding out, so his eyes stay shut and he just listens while waiting for his mind to wake again. He can feel his thoughts wandering and decides to just observe them for a while.

It’s pretty quiet wherever he is. There’s the faint singing of birds — Maybe a window is open somewhere? — but other than that it’s just a peaceful silence. _Peaceful_ … He hasn’t felt like that in a long time. Even before the war his life wasn’t exactly amazing, and he was just always far too busy ruining it even more by sleeping around with strangers and pushing his friends away.

He really did give all of them a hard time. Ingrid always had to get him out of trouble, Dimitri was constantly trying to get him to behave properly and Felix… Well, Felix just wanted him to train with him. He knows they only meant well. He knew it back then too, but something within him never wanted to believe that anyone would actually care about what he did with his life.

Some time later, when the war had already started and he met up with Ingrid to get a report on how the Galatea troops kept up against the Empire, he found a quiet moment to give her somewhat of an apology, and she had assured him that it was alright. _Is it sometimes annoying to clean up after you? Yes, but ultimately you’re a great friend._

He even tried apologizing to Dimitri when they finally found him again after all those years — Even though he wasn’t exactly receptive to it in his state.

Most of it was probably because with all the death and suffering around them, Sylvain realized at some point that him or his friends could die any day, and he would hate for one of them to stay behind angry at him — Or for him to remain without ever getting a chance to clear things between them again.

Only when it came to Felix, Sylvain just wasn’t sure how to approach it. Felix didn’t exactly seem to be upset with him, at least not more than he was with anyone else as well. And at some point it had seemed like Felix had just accepted that Sylvain wasn’t going to put a lot of effort into training (Although he didn’t exactly seem to approve of it either), so Sylvain just pushed it aside. Really, he didn’t even know what to tell Felix. _Sorry I’m not doing a lot of training, I just don’t really care whether I die or not at this point_ would like not cut it. Although right now he isn’t really sure about it anymore. Maybe he does care whether he lives or dies.

The last moments before he passed out flash before his eyes again. Seeing Felix run right into a group of enemies, fighting them off. The wyvern rider suddenly appear out of nowhere, ready to let his axe sink into Felix’s flesh. He couldn’t just watch that happen, so Sylvain jumped in to protect him. Like he always did on the battlefield. Usually it was more subtle, like taking down a mage or an archer that was about to target Felix, but sometimes when it was about to be a really close call, Sylvain just had to barge into the battlefield.

If it wasn’t for his urge to protect Felix, who knows if he would even still be out there fighting. War was incredibly depressing, having to see people die every day, having to fight those he once called his friends — Protecting Felix gives him some sort of a purpose. And often it makes him wish that he’s taken training more seriously, so he would actually be able to help now. Maybe when he recovers he can start putting more effort into his training. He probably should, if he doesn’t want to get close to dying _again._

Sylvain snaps out of his thoughts when he hears steps emerging and a door open.

“You’re still here.” He hears a soft voice that belongs without a doubt to Mercedes. It sounds like a simple observation, although there is that knowing undertone that Mercedes often has, like she knows exactly what the other person is thinking but doesn’t want to be too upfront with her knowledge. There’s no reply — The other person either responded with a gesture, or is ignoring her — and so Mercedes just keeps talking, now coming closer. “Any changes? Did he wake up yet?” Still no reply. “Oh. I see… Well, I’m sure he’ll be okay soon.”

Sylvain feels soft, gentle fingers on his forehead, then another hand just slightly pressing on his torso.

“Maybe a little more healing magic won’t hurt?”, Mercedes asks, although it’s unclear whether he suggests it to the other person or is talking to herself.

Now there’s movement right next to him. “Don’t. Annette said you were going to overwork yourself like this. You should listen to her.” For a short second Sylvain almost isn’t sure if that voice really belongs to Felix. It’s not as sharp as usual. Somewhat tired and heavy. But there’s still the same ring that is without a doubt Felix.

_Has he been here this entire time?_

“But… I think it might help him to wake up faster. It’s okay, it’ll only be a little”, Mercedes insists. There’s a sigh, followed by a moment of silence.

“If it’s only a bit, I can do it too. You go and finally get some sleep. You’ve been running around the monastery ever since we got back here. Did you even sleep?”

“I-... I took a nap earlier.”

“That’s not enough. Go to bed, Mercedes. We can’t afford to lose our healer.” As distant as Felix always acts, deep down he really seems to care for the others. Maybe if Sylvain can still remember it by the time he’s fully awake, he will tease him about it.

“Well, how long have you been sitting here? You haven’t left this chair since we moved Sylvain to his room. And before that you were pacing around the infirmary for hours”, Mercedes notes. It’s still there, the gentle, knowing undertone.

“I just- He almost died for me. I just felt… Guilty”, Felix grits out, earning a little chuckle from Mercedes.

“Of course it’s _just that_.” She sighs. “Fine, I’ll listen and go to bed. But make sure to use another healing spell on him. And change the bandages later. And when he wakes up you should-”

“Good night, Mercedes. I’m sure I’ll manage.”

There’s another moment of hesitant silence, then again the sound of steps growing more distant, the door falling shut behind them.

“Just wake up already…”, Felix mumbles. Thinking that no one is there to hear him, he seems to really be letting his guard down. There’s little of the usual distant coolness of his voice. Now it’s mostly worry and exhaustion. Sylvain feels bad for making him feel like that, but at the same time all he can do is wish that Felix was always like this. At least he’s not trying to double down on his “lone wolf” personality right now.

Felix’s hands are very different from Mercedes’. Where the latter’s had been careful and soft, Felix’s are clearly cut out for other things than healing. They are rough from years of wielding a sword, his touch more direct and not quite as gentle. Still, Sylvain decides that he likes how they feel against his skin. Some day he hopes to find out what they feel like entangled with his own hands. Until then, he’s content with them resting on his forehead and torso, sending small waves of healing magic through his body.

It’s enough to remind his body that it is, in fact, still there and still in pain. Sylvain flinches a bit as he feels his arm throbbing.

Felix makes a startled sound when Sylvain moves, pulling his hands away in shock.

“Sylvain? Are you… Are you okay?”

Finally, Sylvain forces his eyes to open. The room is mostly dark, except for the candle on his nightstand, flickering in a warm light and making shadows dance on the walls. He can see his armor, still bloody, scattered across the floor, and the slightly pulsing red light of the Lance of Ruin in a corner.

Felix is kneeling next to the bed, looking at him with a worried expression. _Right. he asked Sylvain a question._

“I’m alright. Still a bit in pain, but I’ve been worse”, Sylvain manages to say, only now realizing how dry his throat is. There’s relief flashing over Felix’s face.

“Good. What in the Goddess’s name were you thinking, jumping in front of an enemy like that?” To Sylvain’s surprise, there’s no anger in that question. Felix really just seems genuinely concerned with him.

“Couldn’t just let you die, right?”, Sylvain asks, forcing a crooked smile on his face.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that… You’re always so careless trying to protect me, always-” Felix cuts himself off, shaking his head with a sigh. “Doesn’t matter for now. I’ll let you get better before I scold you. Just… Don’t do that again, yeah?” Sylvain never heard his voice as soft as this. He decides that he likes it.

“Then you better make sure to stay safe next time, yeah?”

Felix looks at him for a long time. His eyes seem tired, and relieved, and strangely warm. “Fine. I’ll be careful. I hope you know I don’t want you to die for me. I’d prefer if you lived. Now… Just make sure you get better soon,alright?”


End file.
